Waking up the dream....

WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ONE!!!

Well, it's been over 2 weeks since I had my surgery, and things couldn't be going better!  My incisions are basically healed, and I am off of ALL medications!  I had an appointment with my surgeon last week and he is amazed at how quickly I am recovering.  He said that I should have a good 5 to 10 years without any problems.  I'll take it!! I've accepted the fact that crohn's can't be cured (yet) and I am going to make the most of this time I have been given to be symptom free.  Why didn't I do this sooner???

Besides going a little stir crazy at times, I have been enjoying my time off work while I recover.  I have had a lot of time to reflect on my life and things I want to accomplish in the future.  It's funny the conclusions I have come to.  For those of you that have known me a long time,  I have always wanted to go to medical school and become a doctor of some kind.  Over the past couple of years, I let that dream slip away for many reasons.  First, I became discouraged with the pre-requisites for medical school that I was working on while finishing my business degree.  It was really hard studying subjects that were so different, and I had to give more attention to the business classes since that was for my degree.  Second, I have been on a roller coaster with my health, and started doubting that I could physically handle the stress that comes with being a medical student.  These factors caused me to lose my drive to become a doctor, and I ended up finishing my business degree without continuing the pre reqs for med school.  I decided to put away the dream I've had since I was a kid because it just didn't feel like a possibility, and decided that I would shoot for a masters degree in healthcare administration...

Anywho, I have had a huge awakening this past week.  It started with going to a session at the Draper temple last Tuesday to see my brother-in-law Michael go through for the first time.  It had been quite a while since I had been to the temple, and I had the most wonderful feeling of peace and my mind was cleared of any negative thoughts.  It's funny because it had been a pretty rough day up to that point for reasons I won't get into.  I was feeling pretty down when I got to the temple, and almost immediately those feelings disappeared.  Anyways, something motivated me at the temple that I really need to stop coasting and make some important decisions for my future.  So, the rest of the week I spent a lot of time working on applications for graduate school for my dual degree in healthcare and business administration and studying for the GMAT exam. 

Applications for graduate school are TORTURE.  You have to write essays, get recommendation letters, and pay outrageous application fees.  I have been working on these essays, and have been bothering old bosses and professors to get recommendation letters in before rapidly approaching deadlines.  I had been making great progress, and the thoughts came to me yesterday--- What would it take for me to get to med school at this point?   Do I really want to get my MBA and a masters in Healthcare Administration? Is this really what I want to do for my career?

So, for the heck of it, I emailed the pre-med advisor at the University of Utah to see what my options are.  I got a quick reply that I can either go for a 2nd bachelors degree to complete the pre-requisites, or take the classes as a non-matriculated student. It was still possible, just not the easiest way to get there.  This got the wheels turning in my head, and a little fire of excitement was lit in my mind.  The dream of becoming a doctor was coming back from the dead. 

Now for the really corny part.  Last night, I couldn't sleep... My body is still working to get rid of the prednisone I have been taking the last couple of months.  So, I popped in a DVD of Grey's Anatomy.  Now I know that show is full of silly drama and a lot of the stories are pretty out there and that's not totally what it is like being a doctor, but it INSPIRED me.  I have watched the show from the beginning... I have watched the main characters that started out as interns fresh out of med school, and seen how they've developed into doctors through the years the show has gone on.  And it came to me again last night,  I WANT THAT!!  I want to help people overcome sickness and pain, like the doctors and surgeons have done in my own life.  I want to make a difference in people's lives at the most personal level. 

So, unless something really out of this world happens, that is what I am going to do.  I am going to get back on track with the life and career I always wanted.  I am going to go for my dream.  I know that it is going to be hard and take a lot of time.  It'll be worth it though!! I told Natalie this tonight, and she lit up like a christmas tree.  I think she has been biting her tongue for a long time.... She had mentioned that ever since she's known me I had talked about wanting to become a doctor.  I know that my recent decisions surprised her, but she has been nothing but supportive in the career choices I have made.  She wasn't just hanging around cause she thought I was going to be a doctor ha ha :). The happiness I saw in her eyes when I talked to her about this was just another sign that I am making a good decision.
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Time to get busy!!! Thanks for reading :)